Having lived with chronic pain for so long, I feel a little lost without it. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to have it back, I just have a whole new lease on life and not sure where that will lead me. You see, after 10 years of suffering with chronic hip pain and the last 3 of those years trying everything I could think of to avoid surgery, in January I surrendered and had hip replacement surgery. I am very grateful as the surgery was successful and has relieved my pain. It feels like a miracle to be able to practice some of my old, favorite yoga poses again, take a little hike to the beach and just move about without restriction.

So why do I feel lost? Maybe empty or unsettled is a better term. I think the pain took me out of balance with the joys of life. The years of aches and pains took me on a deep inner journey, where I discovered and uncovered many truths about myself and my beliefs. What I didn’t expect was now that the pain is gone, the work of reclaiming myself would be my next adventure.

In March I was fairly recovered from surgery and beginning to look for new ways to get out in the world, and then COVID. As with most of you, I found myself stuck at home with a lot of time on my hands. So now what? More yoga? While yoga has been a big part of my physical recovery and ongoing mental sanity, I couldn’t practice yoga all the time! I felt very fortunate to be able to have my pain resolved, yet I felt confused and had this feeling that something was missing from my life. While practicing yoga and going inward, the internal messages that kept coming to my mind were that I needed to find my joy! I was not really sure what that meant. Yoga has taught me that everything is connected and I intuitively knew that now that I am able to open up my body more, other areas of my life needed to open up as well.

Gabrielle Roth, the creator of the 5 Rhythms, said, “In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: “When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop being comforted by the sweet territory of silence?” Wow! That’s some tough love!

When did I stop dancing? Stop singing? During those years of being in pain, I slowly let go of some of the things that brought me the most joy. Pain had turned me into a spectator and little by little I let go of the creative, fun hobbies that brought me joy. I didn’t realize how much of the fulfilling, just-for-the-fun-of-it projects and adventures I had left fall by the wayside.

It had been so long that I didn’t know where to begin.

I decided to start with the silence. I have meditated for years but I recommitted to waking up a little earlier and being more consistent with a daily meditation practice. In those early morning meditations, I began to realize that even though the pain was now gone, it was my thoughts and beliefs that were holding me back from experiencing more happiness. There was still a part of me that had not completely let go of the times that I felt judged for not being a good enough dancer, artist, singer, etc. By not completely letting go of those old stories, my own inner critic kept me from experiencing some of the joys of life that had fulfilled me in the past.

Online classes felt like a safe way to begin. Zoom classes seemed a little more vulnerable but as I explored the possibilities, I couldn’t help but notice that a positive effect of this lockdown, aside from having lots of time for introspection, is that many of my favorite teachers and creatives were offering their specialties online. Just about anything I wanted to look into, I could find via Facebook Live, Zoom, Instagram and online trainings. I didn’t have to leave home to begin my joyful journey!

The marvelous internet has allowed me to study with teachers near and far. I want to share some of my favorite, local Santa Barbara creatives who are offering artistic relief during the pandemic. I highly recommend each of them as they have been helping me find my bliss!

My daughter Jessica has inspired me to join her for free daily Zoom classes with Santa Barbara’s Janet Reineck, founder of World Dance for Humanity. We have had so much fun dancing like no one’s watching (and on mute, singing like no one’s listening!) And it’s for such a great cause. On their website WD4H states: “During COVID, World Dance for Humanity is determined to help people sheltering at home by providing a fun, uplifting dance classes with array of music and dance from around the world. Since 2013, WD4H been focused on Rwanda, where we are helping 12,000 people in 28 rural cooperatives left divided and destitute by the 1994 Genocide. All donations from appreciative dancers are being used to feed thousands of Rwandans who are facing starvation due the COVID-19 shutdown, and to ease hunger in our own community with donations to the Santa Barbara Foodbank and 805 Undocufund.”

Another favorite is our friend Sudama Mark Kennedy. Sudama is a United Nations award winning intuitive healer, shaman and musician. Sudama has a way of speaking that opens my heart and thoughts to new points of view. His beautiful music uplifts my soul and we listen to it often during our yoga practice. You can experience the silence of deep meditation and be enchanted by his beautiful storytelling for free on Facebook! He also has past meditations up on his Facebook page. Some of the topics are: The Wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita, a Five Element Meditation, Mythopoetic Body Electric Magic Carpet Ride Meditation. You can join him on Facebook Live Mondays at 4:32pm and Tuesdays at 5:00pm. Upcoming topics: Our Atomic Body: Chakras and the Noble Gas Pressure Grid.

Since I just completed a 5 day “playshop” with Dr. Minette Riordan, I highly recommend Minette if you are looking for ways to get your groove back.  In her mission statement she says: “I help visionary women leaders to reconnect with their creativity and breathe new life into their purpose, passion and careers”. She’s makes it fun, too! She encouraged the group to name our inner critic. She explained that by naming it, you take some of its power away and will be able to identify that voice when it shows up. To my surprise my inner critic showed up as s a bulldog named Bob! Bob and I are in the process of becoming friends.

Our fellow Let It Go Yoga teacher Marcia Meier is an award-winning writer, developmental book editor, writing coach, and publisher of Weeping Willow Books. Her next class Become An Emotional Warrior On the Page is a series of three workshops. Each focuses on a different theme, starting with Compassion, (Love for others,) and moving through Transformation, (Love for self,) and finishing with Ecstasy, (Love for spirit.) You’ll learn how to write from your deepest places, allowing the intuitive space to open—encouraging words to come from your heart. Marcia will get you going and support you all along the way. (Marcia just moved from Santa Barbara to New Mexico to follow her own joyful path. She is still a Santa Barbara local in my heart).

After a hard day of meditation, dancing and creative play, it may be time for Cocktail Yoga with Zach Gill. You may know Zach from his group ALO or from his tours with Jack Johnson. Did you know he’s a fan of Let It Go Yoga? It’s true! Here’s what he has to say about his latest album: “Cocktail Yoga is music for unwinding the mind, the body and the soul. It’s music meant for dreaming, for painting, for cooking and for crafting. It might inspire you to stretch your hammys and roll your shoulders, or it might inspire you to make a hot toddy and curl up with a good book, or call an old friend. It’s playful and seamless and doesn’t require anything from you. Enjoy responsibly. Love, Zach.”

If you need a little support letting go of pain, old beliefs and the Bob the Bulldogs in your life, our Introduction to Let It Go Yoga online course can help you become aware of what might be holding you back. And if you, like me, discover that you need to kick up your heels, enliven your voice, write a good story, and find your way back to joy though creatively, this stressful, uncertain time may be the best time start! Woof!

Sue Anne Parsons 500 EYT, CYT – owner of Let It Go Yoga since 1986

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