Singing is a new adventure that the pandemic surprisingly brought my way! Not that I never sang before. I sang to my children, I sang in the car and of course, I sang in the shower but I never sang with any confidence and certainly not in front of others. Lately I can relate more to students who are new to yoga, new to online learning and new to the multitude of feelings when taking on a new endeavor. That wonderful, scary and exciting Zen space of the Beginner’s Mind – when you are sure of nothing, yet completely open and totally available to the present moment.
I have yoga to thank for long ago yoga helped me discover that I had lost my voice. At the end of my first yoga class, the teacher asked us all to join in sound of OM. It seemed simple enough (although I thought it was kind of silly). I wanted the full experience, so I took a big breath, opened my mouth and out came …nothing! No sound at all. I couldn’t do it! I couldn’t make the sound of OM. After a few tries, I asked my teacher what to do. He seemed a little baffled, as if he had never heard of that problem before. He then suggested to some take singing lessons. So, I did! I signed up for 6 private lessons. I learned how to open up enough to allow the sound of OM to come out. Yay! My mission was accomplished and I was happy with the outcome. Although my singing teacher was disappointed that I didn’t continue with the lessons!
Those few singing lessons gave me enough knowledge to practice the sound of Om. As I continued with my yoga, I noticed that my breathing capacity increased, my voice became stronger, and my singing improved. Although I felt more confident sharing my voice and could end my classes with full bodied OMs, I still suffered when singing around others. I noticed that even in the past few years when we had groups in our yoga studio for Kirtan, I still felt insecure about my voice and too shy to sing out loud and strong. It was spellbinding that after years of yoga and working on letting go of my childhood wounds, I could still feel the sting of my brothers teasing and telling me that I sang like a frog!
Nevertheless, I loved music. We always had music in the house, we made sure we gave our children singing and music lessons. My husband Jim is an avid singer and musician. Ever since I met him he has been a member of a choir or part of a jazz combo. He has faithfully attended singing and music lessons all of these years and I happily and proudly attended his concerts and supported his performances.
When the pandemic began Jim’s music lessons were put on hold as getting together in groups and especially singing were off limits. It didn’t take these savvy musicians long to figure out a way to get together and sing! I learned that networks such as Zoom didn’t work as there is a delay and the timing would not be correct. Soon we had lots of wires running here and there and everywhere, and from my point of view, seemingly like magic, music was happening in our yoga room! Through programs such as JamKazam and IRealPro, Jim was able to meet with his teacher and have his singing and trumpet lessons continue online!
Jokingly, I mentioned that maybe now would be a good time for me to have a lesson, too! He took me up on the idea and surprised me by setting up a lesson for me with his amazing, talented jazz teacher, Kim Collins.
I have been attending weekly singing lessons ever since. Honestly, I almost bailed on the first one. I became very nervous and the thought of singing in front of a teacher was very intimidating. Lots of insecurities came rushing back. But I only had to walk a few steps to our yoga/new music studio, so I mustered up the courage and did attend. I found Kim to be a very gracious, patient teacher, breaking every little thing down for a raw beginner.
It has been surprising to me that practicing singing and practicing yoga feel so alike! In my first lessons I learned that in order to be heard I had to open my mouth more. I also discovered that I was holding my jaw so tight it was restricting the sound from coming out fully. I needed to let it go and relax my jaw (Wait, isn’t that what we say in our Let It Go Yoga class?) There have also been many lessons on breathing diaphragmatically (yoga breathing) and breath control (pranayama), learning how to regulate the breath and use core strength (stomach lock). I have gained more awareness of my posture, the necessary and unnecessary movements of my head, my face, my mouth and the best of all: putting everything aside to be in the present moment!
Some may wonder why I do this so late in my life and with no intentions of performing. I honestly doubt that Jim and I will be taking it on the road, but you never know! This journey of singing has reminded me of the many lessons yoga has taught me along the way. From finding my voice, letting go of past beliefs, feeling more comfortable and confident in my body and staying in the open state of the Beginner’s Mind. Singing lessons have added balance and awareness to my life. Just like my yoga practice, it has opened me up to that glorious feeling of being more alive. Perhaps a Kirtan or a jazz concert is in our future? I’ll keep you posted.
Sue Anne Parsons 500 EYT, CYT – owner of Let It Go Yoga since 1986
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Poor singing teacher what you left. 🙁 Thank you for your story and I wish that someone could teach me how to sing correctly. Or with confidence as well. I don’t have a problem to open my mouth and let a sound out. I am not sure about that sound what comes out of my mouth. Is that correct or not. Yes I can hear but still there is some not confidence what I have. Eh. Maybe I haven’t met right person who can give me confidence.
Keep going to singing lessons and feel good about yourself, Sue Anne! 🙂
I found my voice this year and it has added a whole new healing dimension! In the studio your voice and oms always shared confidence and service. Never would have imagined you were a shy singer too.