I used to think I understood letting go, until I became a mom.
Letting go is something I teach through yoga, but motherhood is where I’ve been tested the most. Releasing attachment to outcomes and trusting that I’ve done enough sounds simple in theory, but in real life, it’s a daily practice. One I’m still learning.
Motherhood has been my greatest teacher in the gentle, sometimes messy art of letting go.
From the first time I spent a day away from my babies to their last days of school, I’ve been challenged to practice what I preach. In many ways, my journey into motherhood began as a stepmom, learning early on how to love and let go. As my daughters grew more independent, my worries didn’t disappear, they grew. Watching all of our kids go off to college, move to a big city, and then welcoming new members into our family through engagements and marriages has been such a joyful, beautiful journey. Each experience has expanded our lives and opened our hearts even more. Motherhood is quite a ride! So many meaningful milestones, and so many opportunities to learn how to let go while also opening my heart in new ways.
Intellectually, I understood that these were exactly the experiences they needed to build full, meaningful lives of their own. But emotionally, letting go didn’t come naturally. I had to work at it. With each transition, my role, and my sense of purpose, shifted right along with them.
Being the mom of a child with a developmental disability has added another layer to that journey. Our youngest daughter, now an adult, was born with Down syndrome. She has reached many of the same milestones as her sisters, though often on a different timeline and in her own unique way. Each one has been meaningful, and deeply emotional for me.
She has needed support in many areas, and parenting her has always required a delicate balance between holding on and letting go. And it still does.
Right now, we are helping her transition into more independent living. She has a beautiful, full life , she is a yoga teacher, an artist, and someone who truly loves life. She has her own apartment and is learning to care for herself in new ways. Every day she reminds me how to slow down and have more fun with it. We are still very much a part of her life while also thinking ahead, planning how she will be supported even beyond our lifetime. Through it all, my Let It Go Yoga practice has been my steady ground.
When my mind is spinning and my body is tight with tension, that’s when I know it’s time to return to my Let It G Yoga practice. To close the door, lie down on the floor, and simply be with it all. Nothing to do. Nothing to decide. Nowhere to go.
As I begin to breathe more deeply, I can feel my body soften. My thoughts slow down. With simple meditation techniques, I come back to my breath, back to the present moment. It feels like a comforting old friend beside me, gently reminding me that all is well…and that everything is going to be okay.
My daily practice doesn’t always look the same. Sometimes it’s a full hour of movement and relaxation. Other times, it’s as simple as sitting quietly, closing my eyes, breathing in love and exhaling fear. It might be writing down a few positive thoughts or pausing to count my blessings. Each of these small moments is part of my practice. Each one helps me let go, just a little more.
And at the end of the day, after I’ve done all I can to support my children on their journeys, you’ll often find me on the floor… breathing it all out.
Letting it go…while somehow never letting go of being a mom.
Because through every stage, every challenge, and every moment of growth, being their mom is, and always will be, the most wonderful part of my life.
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